Two Dummies LP

$40.00

The familiar sound of two talkative douche bags. Sitting right behind you.


Feel like you’re part of the conversation between the two uninformed, overly talkative, asshole stock brokers sitting directly behind you at the game. “Company tickets” never hurt so much. You’ll marvel at the obnoxiously loud conversation, as they discuss work, chicks, vacation homes, brunch and politics.

INCLUDING ALL THE GREATEST HITS:

  1. “Hurtin’ for a Squirtin’”

  2. “I’m probably gonna get a Tesla”

  3. “Montauk is way more chill than the Hampton’s.”

  4. “I don’t even know what the score is.”

  5. “That’s what the company card is for.”

  6. “Oh, you definitely have to tailor your chinos.”

  7. “It’s actually pronounced lang-go-steen.”

  8. “The rager at Topher’s was bananas, bro.”

  9. “Stacia has me on a juice cleanse.”

  10. “My money guy has the best cocaine.”

  11. “You’ve got tickets to Widespread? I’m in like Flynn.”

  12. “Trust Fund? More like Trust Fun!”

  13. “Dad got two new engines on the yacht.”

  14. “Let’s leave after the 1st to beat traffic.”

** SOLD OUT **

Add To Cart

The familiar sound of two talkative douche bags. Sitting right behind you.


Feel like you’re part of the conversation between the two uninformed, overly talkative, asshole stock brokers sitting directly behind you at the game. “Company tickets” never hurt so much. You’ll marvel at the obnoxiously loud conversation, as they discuss work, chicks, vacation homes, brunch and politics.

INCLUDING ALL THE GREATEST HITS:

  1. “Hurtin’ for a Squirtin’”

  2. “I’m probably gonna get a Tesla”

  3. “Montauk is way more chill than the Hampton’s.”

  4. “I don’t even know what the score is.”

  5. “That’s what the company card is for.”

  6. “Oh, you definitely have to tailor your chinos.”

  7. “It’s actually pronounced lang-go-steen.”

  8. “The rager at Topher’s was bananas, bro.”

  9. “Stacia has me on a juice cleanse.”

  10. “My money guy has the best cocaine.”

  11. “You’ve got tickets to Widespread? I’m in like Flynn.”

  12. “Trust Fund? More like Trust Fun!”

  13. “Dad got two new engines on the yacht.”

  14. “Let’s leave after the 1st to beat traffic.”

** SOLD OUT **

The familiar sound of two talkative douche bags. Sitting right behind you.


Feel like you’re part of the conversation between the two uninformed, overly talkative, asshole stock brokers sitting directly behind you at the game. “Company tickets” never hurt so much. You’ll marvel at the obnoxiously loud conversation, as they discuss work, chicks, vacation homes, brunch and politics.

INCLUDING ALL THE GREATEST HITS:

  1. “Hurtin’ for a Squirtin’”

  2. “I’m probably gonna get a Tesla”

  3. “Montauk is way more chill than the Hampton’s.”

  4. “I don’t even know what the score is.”

  5. “That’s what the company card is for.”

  6. “Oh, you definitely have to tailor your chinos.”

  7. “It’s actually pronounced lang-go-steen.”

  8. “The rager at Topher’s was bananas, bro.”

  9. “Stacia has me on a juice cleanse.”

  10. “My money guy has the best cocaine.”

  11. “You’ve got tickets to Widespread? I’m in like Flynn.”

  12. “Trust Fund? More like Trust Fun!”

  13. “Dad got two new engines on the yacht.”

  14. “Let’s leave after the 1st to beat traffic.”

** SOLD OUT **